Its ok to figure it out as you go.
I decided it was ok because it’s the only way to feel ok about such an unstable industry.
I decided that I float through my words like they are ambitions.
My voice is how I want to make my mark.
Writing, singing creating life from an idea or truth inspired moments, is a constant.
I will continue as long as I stay observant and mediative.

I want to point out little moments of colour, life and intrigue.
Give bits of me and bits of the world.
I was just talking with my friend the other day about how many talents there are across the world, dancers, singers, musicians, actors, writers. The idea of art as life are so full and so endless.
As is opportunity. As is life.
Stay aware to its claws and calls.
Stay above and open and optimistic.
We need to speak our piece and share are ideas and art.
For whom better to inspire than each other. Our Mamma’s always taught as to share.
Lets put our teaching to use.
Don’t dispel or cheat one another. Don’t plagiarize or lie.
But dig through the crazy, full box of thought that is the internet.
Don’t be scared to trust technology and sift, surf cruise the net.
I speak in third person here. I speak to me first.
Then translate through to you.
I want to write about life, food, health, movies, music, fashion, dance, drama.
I am scared of politics, and religious talk, I fear we can never speak the same language when it comes to these topics. So you won’t find me in that section of the library or papers.
But you will find me….again I am talking to myself at this point.

I wouldn’t know what to do with a gun,
I wouldn’t know what to do without my words.
I have decided its ok to figure it out as I go.
I can’t get stuck in the nine to five.
Words will one day be my bread and butter.
It may only pays for my bread for some time that s ok too, ill enjoy the toppings much more later. With my love by my side.
For now I’m cool eating my toast plain.

must be love

A cliché?
Never no way.
Its nice to find another who you are truly compatible with.
I have found it to be a struggle in my 25 years of breathe thus far.
Polar. Epic extremes of love I have for family and friends, friendships and alliances formed with ease.
Relationships not so much.
He liked me right away. I liked that I wasn’t scared of him.
I have hoped for many things, but all at the wrong time.
I have had many beautiful moments, (don’t get me wrong,) they all seemed to…
But that’s all they ever were.
Mere moments, I misunderstood as relationships. Happy to settle simply because I knew I was unconventional.
Always cool because it worked for me. Big egos, big energies.
Have to be hugely creative, and inspiring, to feed off that and be bigger than life.
Full of light and smiles, perfect until it all of a sudden isn’t.
Obsessive, anxiety, tears, lack of sleep, lack of food, lack of light.
These things I craved and belived up to be what made me feel good, where everything that was wrong, making me crave things that were not good for me or my health at all. Making me on edge and as a result unable to touch the ground properly.
I needed new ground, new shoes a new path.
Sucked dry and totally worse off than before.
A friend once said to me ‘you were fine before him, you’ll be fine after him.’ I could never help but wonder if I was fine before him why did I seek this out? If I was fine I wouldn’t have batted my eyes to it? Perhaps the key to realisation is appreciation for what was. Not hatred or ill will.
I created more wholes to repair. More damage.
Never a fan of Tiffany’s or tissues, but more of a girl than I ever let myself believe.
I moved away took a break and gave myself a break also. Don’t be so hard, beating yourself up when your already bruised.
So use to dealing on my own, in private. In my music and my words.
Now I deal with him and its scary but secure at the same time.
He loves my crazy as much as my calm, and I couldn’t have it any other way.

No two people can ever fully get each other, it’s the accepting of that, that makes a relationship. t
That’s the sacred key ever ones searching for. The hardest part is letting someone in, not figuring them out, that bit, that’s the fun bit.
Figure me out baby, I dare you.
I want to be that wife, that mother, that bride.
I will venture and float, but always come back to you, as my mother taught me to always go back to the truth, you feel true, and you are my truth.

round two, with 2

Too far gone I can guarantee that man is in her coffee
In her diary in her laundry in her nightie
Too far gone is the danger when your gone
You are not there.
But you can be here one moment and gone the next
So come back to the here
Come back to the present.
That amazing gift of a second chance.
A second dance can feel just as good as the first.

swear words, words unworthy

“The kindest word in all the world: is the unkind word unsaid”


Your words are harsh and unnecessary
I don’t like them, much like your energy.
You speak profanity to mask your fear
Bold and aggressive you have no idea,
The off balance you set just by your presence
Swear all you like, swear loud, with some merit.
I choose not to re type re phrase your foul mouth
I choose not to strike the iron you want me to shout
People fall out of line and stumble on their coffee
I have seen it before so your brute doesn’t shock me.
It’s not just your words that seem to end with blasphemy
The way you walk the way you eat, it’s in all that you carry.
Put your bag down, unload some of the junk
We good folk just don’t give a ‘fuck’
See how nasty this tastes left on the tip of the tongue?
That’s what you do to others with your shrill aggression
Take time, chew your food and your words too
Language is a gift that should be met with gratitude.
Take a que from the classics, a leaf out of their book
Wordsworth, Poe, Plath, Hemingway and Virginia Woolf.

“That best portion of a man's life, his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.” Wordsworth

butterfly thoughts

My mood, the colour of wine.
My thoughts, deep red much the same.
Butterflies won’t leave the brain today all I can do is manifest.
Lock me out if need be, I know my head is overbearing.

Mood right now, blocked. Hard.
Mediate right now, I just can’t.
Butterfly thoughts free my mind; I keep lists to lessen their chatter scatter endurance.
Not in my stomach but my head, excited little energy babies that
Take wing in couplets like beautifully phrased poems.
Syntax of my words in tune, in key, in time.
Quickly before I loose my mind.
They float out at night, when I practice mediative sits.
They store in my dreams and do crazy things.
When I’m sitting straight and eyes shut, I feel them literally leave my brain. Butterfly thoughts as they rise and take leave, they make my head light, like the wings, like the delicate breathlessness of the creature itself. I am calm, I am at peace.
Lovely little butterflies.
Tonight can’t seem to shoot free. The darkness grabbed a net
Tried to catch me.
My mood, wine and a dark lit room.
Ill lace the mind with blood tinted calm, sink into sleep
Sedate beating wings that need a night before release.

brothers keeper

He knows that I know that he knows
That’s why we don’t care when other people think they know
Only one brother
Got no other.
Two sisters
All from the same Mr and Mrs.
His my friend. Hard to reach,
Yet there for keeps.
Let the rhyme subside…

A typical Cancerian, extremely sensitive, can’t stand confrontation.
Cancers are the deeply emotional, who are smooth and confident on the outside. Must be where the nickname ‘silky’ came from.
Also known as..Lanis, Matt, ‘the conda’ (don’t ask) brother bear and Lanny.
Eats everything in bread, dislikes sleeping pills and milky coffee.
At times my diary and reality keeper. At times the only one who understands me, then doesn’t get me at all.
Not a fan of liars, snakes, coriander, and alarms, loves cheese, preferably the platter…dressing gowns, hip hop music, sunglasses, double denim, chocolate bars, fancy dress and Mary poppins.
Usual suspects, and Crash among favourite films, into footy, his phone, holidays, and music festivals. Not afraid to wear pink, or speak from the heart.
Loved backstreet boys and Boys II Men growing up, and I never once questioned his sexuality. Brought up in a house full of woman and girls, may give you some leeway into the successful track score among female company.
A loyal friend, a sense of humour, athletic and assertive.

Introduced me to vegemite and avocado which I swear to God he started, now it’s some well known fact that the two rock together.
Much like as on a night out, our energy and quirks balance one other out, and entice admirers.

Used to cook me eggs in a cup in the microwave- yes I know, don’t dis it until you have tried it, I thought my big brother was a freaking genius.
Taught me to kick a footy (after many attempts), stick up for myself, play tetress, who Santa really was, and why Humphrey never speaks.
Tried many times to clue my logic towards chess, gambling and math but it would have none of it. Adore that he simply tried.
Used to do movies at least once a week, and we would see everything thanks to his free hook ups as one of the Village Cinema team leaders. Met Usher in that time and has too been in the presence of the Queen of England!
How times have changed, how doors have opened, how proud I am

I miss our closeness
I miss our childhood
I wish I could remember more of us as kids
I understand life can get in the way.
I am lucky to call this love my friend I am lucky I can call at all

Bubbles baths, holidays, hard times shared, easier to cope, the cone to my ice cream. Would be A dribbling mess, without him in my life.

A heart that accommodates for so much compassion and affection for nieces, nephews, cousins, and the like. Like me, totally in love with family.
Successful at what he does, club owner, event runner, thrower and defiantly a catch. For a day I know he would love to be a break dancer, or Denny Crane (Boston Legal.)
Jeff Kennet, Richard Branson, Elvis and our father among his heroes.
Never into violence- but if you do something wrong (to me) he will kill you.

Encouraged me to sing, a thanks permanently inked on my wrist and heart.
Sure I was his little punching bag through them adolescent years, but we made a deal when he turned 18 he wasn’t allowed to hit me any more. Since then body contact only consists of hugs and love and the occasionally back crack.
We have our own little way to do it, which most freaked out by the sight, butno one else can perfect quite like us and we know what we’re doing.
Ambitious, all round ladies man, (I am being generous with the loose ‘lady’ title here)...loose though many have been, when his with a lady of his heart he is all gentlemen.

Shared dreams and encouraged impetus
No room for people with bad manners, in fact you are an instant ugly.
Liars mean about as much as the last pieces of bread in a packaged loaf.
Very little at all. Disregarded. Destined for the trash.
This coming from a lover of bread.
Into fine dining, and cafes more so for breakfast, the sports and business ends of newspapers, into knowing the weather, what’s on in Melbourne, and the one to call for directions.
Forgive the cliché but knows me better than I know myself at times, perhaps some how a little psychic.

A pillow to cry into, fall asleep on, part of my jumbled, re arranging feng shui.
Part of my memory, creativity, and what drives me to be better.
I know life’s busy
I know I am sensitive
I know my brother better than the disco talk
I love that regardless how I feel, he is adored
By men women alike, no amount of time behind those doors can take away from the moments caught in precious photos, adored and scattered through out our parents place.
In a time and place where innocence was still threaded in our clothing.

Thoughtful, kind gift giver, art work, jewellery, musicals and leather goods!
Words of mockery, that know just how to stir my watery belly
Words of clarity to help level my untamed mentality
Words of rationality in an endless, exhausting attempt to tune my scattered mind
He loves that I walk on the other side of the footpath, he worries that I live in the dreamtime…that I love too hard, too fast and trust human beings far too much.
In his words ‘naivety’ in mine ‘mistrust’

I miss our closeness
I miss our childhood
I wish I could remember more of us as kids
I understand life can get in the way.
I am lucky to call this love my friend I am lucky I can call at all
I am humbled in the thought of our relationship
I am truly my brothers’ keeper.

Kinesiology

In tune with the liver points
The poor one sighs with frustration
It explains my behaviour of recent
Learn to project to feel to pursue and exude happiness before you can access it
I want out of this job. Pumping coffees and my energy into other people all day is not me.
To serve… serve for little purpose, little coin and little inspiration
I need to create to be moved. A vibration of this energetic field
Today Adrienne just re enforce to manifest and be grateful before quitting
I’m a writer, I’m a singer. I’m already writing, singing, already successful
In order to get it, and I will first I must believe it, speak it aloud and be happy in my present environment.
Tomorrow I will nuture that barrista like it’s my stage. The coffee beans my ink, and the groove heads that pour Mr and Mrs their caffeine hit, my love and words and art.
She unblocked the tension and clot in my head and brain channel and within a instant I jolted out of my body, that feeling you get just before you fall into sleep.
Calmer and more in tune with the earth, she grounded me
I ground the coffee- I want let it be a burden or a migraine
Weening off negativity to manifest my true path.
To have here or take away? To have and to hold. Any sugars? aint life the sweetest gift.
Gifted. Given space to acquire the wisdom to know I am blessed.